Feeling Constantly on Edge? Why You Feel This Way

When You Just Can't Seem to Relax

Sometimes you just can't get comfortable. You're irritable. Your shoulders are tense. You're checking your phone. Small things bother you more than usual. Maybe you're struggling to eat or sleep. Even when nothing particularly stressful is happening right now, you can't properly settle.

What Does Feeling "On Edge" Actually Mean?

You might feel restlessness, irritability, racing thoughts, muscle tension, difficulty concentrating, feeling watchful, disturbed sleep, reduced appetite, nail biting/fidgeting, increased heart rate. For me personally, it's my nails that get it worst. Eventually, I've bitten them so much that they actually hurt.

Why Do I Feel Constantly on Edge?

There is no one correct answer to this. Stress, anxiety, uncertainty, poor sleep, caffeine, difficult life circumstances and physical/medical factors can all contribute. Sometimes one big thing can put you on edge: relationship difficulties, money worries, health concerns or something else hanging over you. Other times, nothing obvious seems to be happening right now. This can be particularly annoying.

Feeling constantly on edge doesn't automatically mean you have an anxiety disorder, but anxiety and prolonged stress are two possible causes.

Your Nervous System Thinks Something Needs Your Attention

The long and the short of it is that your nervous system thinks something needs your attention. Your body isn't being stupid; it's attempting to protect you. But, as we've discussed many times, it's just not quite set up for the modern world.

Our ancestors' stress responses evolved in environments where immediate physical dangers were a much bigger part of life. An unread work email isn't a predator, but the modern stress response can still produce many of the same physical changes.

As such your sympathetic nervous system can activate the fight-or-flight response, while stress systems involving hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol help prepare your body to respond.

When You're Already Carrying Something

Sometimes, particularly when you're already carrying something, it can become much easier to snap, become irritated or react more strongly than you normally would.

Think of yourself as an emotional glass for a moment. On a regular day the glass is empty, and the stressful things we encounter like traffic, certain emails, a person saying the wrong thing barely make a drop in the bottom of the glass. 

But if you already have something heavy on your mind, that glass may as well be three-quarters full. Suddenly those small day to day drops can threaten to overflow the glass. The little event is not necessarily the reason you snapped or reacted the way you did, but rather it's the drop that finally made the glass overflow. The straw that broke the camel's back, as it goes (poor camel).

Why Small Things Suddenly Feel Like Big Things

When you are emotionally drained and stretched your ability to deal with additional stress can be reduced.

That doesn't mean you're suddenly weak or irrational. Things you'd normally shrug off can suddenly sit with you, play on your mind or keep you awake at night. That can make things harder again the following day. If you're already struggling, a terrible night's sleep probably isn't going to improve your capacity for dealing with life's bullshit.

Uncertainty Can Keep You on High Alert

When you don't know what will happen next, your brain has very little information to work with. Uncertainty can be uncomfortable because we naturally like being able to predict what is going to happen. When something important is unresolved, your brain may become more alert and start looking for clues.

Waiting for:

• A message.
• Medical results.
• A decision.
• News about money/work.
• A difficult conversation.
• Something happening within a relationship or family.

Why Uncertainty Triggers High Alert

• Predicting What Happens Next: Our brains constantly use previous experiences and patterns to anticipate what might happen.
• Filling in the Blanks: When information is missing, worry can make us imagine negative explanations.
• Stress Response: If those possibilities feel threatening, your body's stress response may become more active.
• Constant Scanning: You can find yourself paying much more attention to tiny changes that you'd normally barely notice.

Your Brain Starts Looking for Clues

When you're worried about something unresolved, ordinary information can suddenly feel relevant to it.

• A notification.
• A delayed response.
• Someone behaving slightly differently.
• An unexpected email.
• Silence.

Your brain tries to answer the unresolved question using whatever information it has available.

Your brain doesn't necessarily have the wrong information. Sometimes it simply doesn't have enough information.

So it fills in the blanks.

Unfortunately, anxious brains aren't particularly renowned for filling blanks with the most cheerful available explanation.

The Physical Signs of Being Constantly on Edge

Stress and anxiety trigger the fight or flight response, we have discussed this in our topics on Cortisol amongst others. It can cause real physical symptoms, some of which can be uncomfortable or painful 

Muscle tension and jaw clenching.
Restlessness/fidgeting/nail biting.
Increased heart rate.
Digestive changes.
Reduced appetite.
Difficulty sleeping.
Fatigue.
Headaches.

The On-Edge Cycle

Something worries you → you become more alert → you notice physical symptoms → you look for signs something is wrong → you struggle to relax → sleep suffers → you're exhausted → dealing with stress becomes harder → you feel even more on edge.

And around we go.

How Can You Feel Less On Edge?

• Solving a specific problem.
• Having a difficult conversation.
• Asking for extra support.

• Making a decision you've been putting off.

But sometimes there is nothing you can do right now except wait.

Helping Yourself While It Remains Unresolved