Back-to-School Stress? It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect!

Like your kids, parents are under a lot of stress and pressure when September rolls around. This post is designed to help you unpack and understand what needs to happen to free yourself from some of that back-to-school stress.

Going back to school does not have to be perfect.

So, before we dive into the ins and outs of tackling “back-to-school”, I want to suggest one thing: it does not have to be perfect. In fact, it almost certainly will not be, and that's OK.

Very few things in life go exactly as we expect, and fewer still are executed without a small hiccup of some kind. So, going into this back-to-school season, I would suggest accepting, before we start, that there will be some roadblocks, some forgotten PE kits and some days when everything seems to go wrong.

It's best to understand that these things will happen before they do. Living with the idea that something might happen can build anticipatory anxiety, that stress of feeling like something will happen, but not knowing what or when.

Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference

OK, now that we have accepted that there will be some hiccups, we can start to think about ways to work proactively and make small, incremental changes to give us the best chance of getting back on track.

Rather than trying to change everything overnight, we have some smaller, more bite-sized suggestions for you.

Adjust habits gradually rather than all at once. Look at moving bedtimes and wake-up times back to “normal” in small chunks of 10–15 minutes at a time, over an extended period, rather than changing everything in one go. This helps reduce the shock of the new pattern.

In addition to this, you can start having family breakfast at a more consistent time in the morning and really get the kids used to it, so you don't need to chase them around the house once the big day comes.

Check and prepare school essentials early. Rather than rushing around shopping two days before school starts, try to make sure you have everything the kids will need a little ahead of time.

School bags, lunch bags, books, water bottles, maths sets and so on.

Prep Tasks and Habit Hacking

Once we build habits, they are normally a little bit easier to stick with. That's why we think pairing these habits with a few simple prep tasks is perfect.

Get the bag packed and ready to go the night before, not in the morning rush. That frantic pressure of trying to get out of the door is what leads to mistakes.

So, get it out of the way before the madness commences.

The School Bag Reset

Check for:

• Homework
• Reading books
• Letters or forms
• PE kits
• Special items needed the next day

Uniforms Ready to Go

I would actually suggest laying the full outfit out, rather than just getting the uniform ready. Remove those small morning decisions.

• Underwear
• Socks or tights
• Uniform
• Shoes

Create a Launch Pad

If you have the space to allow it, have one place near the door where everything ready for the morning goes. Bags, shoes, coats and anything needed for the next day all have a “home”.

A ready-to-go zone where everything school-related lives.

The idea is to avoid:

“Mum, where are my shoes?” at 8:12 am.

The 5-Minute Evening Reset

Set aside five minutes in the evening to prepare for the morning.

Not 30 minutes. Not a full household reset.

Just five minutes.

A few minutes of preparation in the evening can make the morning feel noticeably calmer.

Remember to Look After Yourself Too

Life can be stressful at the best of times. Throw in being a mum or dad, as well as having these other small people you need to look after and manage, and things can become difficult.

Allow yourself to feel emotional.

There is a famous poem titled No Man Is an Island by John Donne. I like this poem because it reminds us that, while we may think that internalising our thoughts and feelings protects others, we are all connected to something bigger. What affects us can affect that bigger picture too.

You may feel:

• Relief
• Sadness
• Anxiety
• Guilt
• Exhaustion

And you may feel all of them in the same day.

There is no “right” way to feel. There is only the way we feel.

We need to process these feelings, try to understand why we have felt them and think about how we can move forward.

It is very difficult to find the time to truly unwind and destress. Blogs that suggest you take an hour-long bath with candles and oils and no disturbances are clearly living in a fanciful world the rest of us simply do not get to see.

Instead, try to find your peace in:

• A quiet cup of tea
• Five minutes before everyone wakes up
• A short walk
• Reading a few pages
• Sitting quietly before bed

Also, make use of the supportive people around you. Talk to other mothers and fathers at school while waiting to pick up the kids. Try to keep an open dialogue with your partner about feelings and worries.

Try to build small moments of comfort into your routines.

• A favourite bedtime routine
• Quiet time together
• A familiar comfort item
• A cuddle before bed

Obviously, as a manufacturer of weighted toys for stress and anxiety, we are always quick to reach for a cuddly cow when we are looking to unwind. For some people, comfort comes from the feeling of a hug or gentle pressure. You can read more about how Deep Pressure Stimulation works in our guide to [Deep Pressure Stimulation].

But it does not have to be this.

Think about what comfort means to you, and think about the micro versions of it that you can implement day to day. Comfort looks different for everyone, and it isn't just something children need. We've written more about who can benefit from a McCuddles toy, from children to adults, in our guide to [who can use McCuddles toys].

Because the truth is, you do not need to have everything figured out before the first day of school.

The transition does not have to be perfect. A few small changes, a little preparation and some patience with yourself can go a long way.

And if you forget the PE kit?

Well, there's always next week.